Dating, how do I even?

I had a 4 and a half year relationship, I don’t know how to date?!

How do you do it? Because I am just at a loss.

The nerves alone are just beyond intimidating. Meeting someone new, trying to make a good impression.

The thoughts that go through my head are just insane.

Am I dressed okay? Am I underdressed? Am I overdressed? Too much make up? Not enough? Does it make me look slim? Or is it making me resemble something close to a beanbag?

Those are just a few.

Self confidence is a massive component of dating, and that is something I just don’t have. I can fake it, but internally I am screaming, running in circles and curled up in the corner.

Nothing is harder than trying to be someone you aren’t, especially with mental illness. Stress triggers stuff for is stressful. You see my problem!

If anyone has any tips for dating please let me know!


A weird thing with Anxiety

Something I have found with my anxiety is I get this very unusual sensation. And my attempt to describe it might not make sense, but here we go..

At random points in my life, I get the sensation that everything is both going extremely fast and extremely slow, at the exact same time. It’s very disconcerting. It isn’t painful, and it happens at infrequent intervals, so infrequent that I couldn’t tell you the last time it happened. It’s just a sensation I cannot control. It takes anything up to a few minutes to pass (it does feel like it takes a lot longer) then it vanishes and I am back to normal. I don’t understand what causes it. It can happen at any time, watching to, reading, led in bed and so on…

It’s like my brain cannot regulate my surroundings. I am completely aware that it is happening, and that everything is actually normal, but the strange “fast slow” sensation remains.

What’s curious though is my first memory of this happening is when I was between 8 and 10. I am now 22. Have I had anxiety for this long? Is it just a sign of anxiety? Or was is an early sign of some other mental illness that I have developed?

I would be interested to know if anyone else feels this sensation.. Am I the only one?