Sometimes, people say that people dream for what they want. What they “dream” of accomplishing, doing with their life etc.
Well for me..
I dream of living at home with my parents and getting food with my dad on the back of his motorbike like when I was a kid.
Backstory: I was kicked out at 17, and I have lived on my own since then. Being an adult way before I was ready. My parents have told me that no matter what, I would not be allowed to move back home.
Now we skip to the present: I am having a bad time, and honestly all I want is to move back home, live with my parents and not have to worry about anything more than what’s for dinner.
My dream was exactly that, a dream. I want what normal people get from their parents. Someone to talk to, someone who cares how you are doing. I haven’t spoken to either of my parents in weeks, they don’t contact me unless they need something from me. It’s a very sad situation.
Maybe I am just rambling, but it was on my mind. My dream parents felt more loving than my actual parents. And I just want to sleep forever so I can live with them.
As described in a previous post which can be found here, I have made my opinion about me going to University clear. It just isn’t for me.
So what do I do instead?
Well, my plan is an internship, a writing internship. Being as my main love is writing and that is what I want to go into as a career when I am older, I thought there would be nothing better.
I was wrong! It isn’t so difficult to find internships here in Liverpool. Like incredibly difficult. I spent hours scouring the internet hoping to find something. I have applied to a couple that I have found and got one response but still, I need more options. I chose to not go to University for this. And now its come round and bit me on the ass. Everything has gone tits up.
I applied to this thing on the Guardian, as they have a student section, so maybe that could lead somewhere, or at least get me some more experience. Which can be found here is anyone is interested in attempting it as well.
I wish I could go back to my younger self and tell her to pick something more realistic as a career, but nope. I am stuck. I do not want to do anything else, its my passion.
Being an adult is hard and I wish I had known that as a child..I think I would have appreciated my childhood a little bit more.