Insomnia is a goddamn bitch

I’m not sure I even noticed it creeping up on me, just out of nowhere the past 2 or 3 days, I haven’t been able to sleep.

Usually, come 10/11pm I am shattered and falling asleep, if not asleep already.

But here we are, another night, past midnight, and I am wide awake.

I am exhausted, I am yawning non stop. But I just cannot get my body to shut down and sleep.

Last night I was awake until gone 4am. The night before I think it was around 3/4am. I cannot keep this up.

I couldn’t even pinpoint the reason behind it, the cause. Stress? The start of a manic episode? Anxiety? I mean the list can be endless, so who knows, it could even be a combination of a few things.

Things I’ve tried to help me sleep:

•putting my phone/laptop away

•reading

•closing my eyes and counting back from 1000 (just so you know, I reached 465 before I gave up out of frustration)

herbal tea

•stretching each section of my body one at a time in an attempt to relax

I have officially run out of ideas. I love sleep, I adore sleep, naps used to be part of my daily routine and I would still manage a good 7/8 hours of sleep at night.

That is another thing I have noticed. When I was sleeping, I was still waking up constantly tired. But I wouldn’t be able to nap. That has been happening over the past week or so. Maybe that was the warning side, my body gearing up to tell me that I’m no longer allowed decent sleep. First it took my naps, now my evening slumber. 

Irritatingly though, not sleeping is stressing me out, which I know full well is contributing towards the insomnia. Even if stress isn’t the official cause, it’s definitely creeping in there now as one.

Fuck insomnia.

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