Where did my motivation go?

I’ve noticed something, and it’s starting to irritate me. My motivational abilities suck.

The only time I am motivated to do anything, is at night when I can’t really do the things I want to do.

I am at my most creative, motivated, logical, “non mentally ill”, late at night. And it’s pissing me off. I want to be all these things, all the time, but for some reason 7pm onwards is my peak time.

I come up with plans, I write lists, I sort out everything, then when morning comes, *poof*, it’s gone. I end up just spending the day in bed, being entirely unproductive. 

Then I feel crappy about wasting my day, by literally laying in bed. I don’t know how I spend my time either, when I look back, it just does not seem feasible that I have done nothing for 12+ hours. 

But after all this, when the night comes, like some shit horror film, I become the person I want to be.

A ridiculous cycle of shit.

So I would like to know, WHERE DID MY MOTIVATION GO?! 


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